


I Will Go Also Ficlet

by DopeScotlandWarrior



Category: Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Castle Leoch, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 19:00:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DopeScotlandWarrior/pseuds/DopeScotlandWarrior
Summary: Claire's loving father encouraged her learning and independence until he died suddenly leaving her penniless, and labeled by her town an undesirable. Dougal brings her to Castle Leoch where she is housed at the mercy of Colum who controls her every waking moment. She has a friend with a hero's heart and when he see's her peril he makes her an offer.





	I Will Go Also Ficlet

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet was written for the #one quote one shot challenge. My quote was" I was not so afraid of him as the other men, though he looked just as dangerous." It did not fit with my current stories so here is something new. I apologize for my late posting. Thank you for reading my ficlet.

I stared at the cold floor of my subterranean surgery dreading yet another clan celebration that would bring enumerable lacerations, broken bones, concussions, and alcohol poisoning for me to fix. The men will be drunk and lewd, forcing me to fight them off while I stitched them up. I suppose I should be grateful Colum always posted a man at my door for safety but I felt no such emotion. I was little more than a captive in this fortress of a castle, without free will, or any choices at all. 

It was a short six weeks ago that I was the commander of my days and chose my pursuits for my own reasons. Never did I appreciate the privilege of such freedom, or understand the tenuous hold I had on it. This luxury was the gift of a loving father who refused to marry me off just to see me settled. One day I was free and learning my trade, the next I was a pariah, alone in the world, with no protection. I felt hot tears running down my face and took a deep breath. “I miss you father and I pray we meet again in heaven.”

I heard the voice of Mrs. Fitz at my door coming to check on my readiness for the party that was surely underway. 

“Claire! Ye arna ready yet. Colum expects you in the hall for super and Jaime Fraser will be here soon to escort ye. Here lass, let me finish yer dressin.”

I felt every layer and lace that was assembled into my dress for the evening. It was a gift from Latisha and in a better frame of mind, I would admit it was quite beautiful. The fabric was almost amber colored, and according to Latisha, matched my eyes. A deeply cut bodice was trimmed in a beautiful fur, underskirts of lace with a stiff petticoat to flair the fabric. I looked in the mirror and tried to feel grateful while Mrs. Fitz continued to fuss. 

“Dry yer tears my dear and consider the alternative to yer life here at the castle. Ye’d be forced into a loveless marriage with mounting bairns and unknown treatment from yer husband. Yer twenty years old lass, and no a widow, ye wouldna be lookin at the bonnie choices for a husband. Most men are lookin to marry a lass that’s no more than sixteen or seventeen. I fear ye would not be highly valued or cared for by such an arrangement.”

I looked at her and felt my grief and resentment crash through the gates holding them in my heart and they drained away. My knees buckled and Mrs. Fitz caught me and helped me to a chair. I held her hands against my cheek and felt overwhelming appreciation.

“Thank you, Mrs. Fitz, for helping me see my good fortune and the nightmare Colum is saving me from. It is a terrible habit of mine to miss the gift until it is taken away. You have helped me feel better.”

She smiled at me with her sweet plump face and announced the knocking was Jaime Fraser here to take me to the hall. She hurried to the door with me right behind her.

“Misses Fitz.” Jaime bowed to her as she left for the kitchens. He looked at me, blushed, and then looked again. “Sorry mistress, dinna mean to stare, ye look bonnie in that dress. Ready?” 

I walked slowly to maximize my time with Jaime. I was not so afraid of him as the other men, though he looked just as dangerous. He was a constant companion since arriving at the castle and truly felt like a friend. 

“Colum has ordered me to stay close to ye this evenin and it willna be so hard with ye lookin the way ye do in that dress. If I may be so bold.”

I giggled at his boyish charm and pink cheeks but managed my best thank you smile. In my heart, I thanked him for the compliment, for looking after me, keeping me safe, and treating me with respect as if I had value. He was the only male that did. The other clansmen decided I was damaged goods to be so old and never wed. It meant the world to me that Jaime saw me differently. 

As we neared the hall, Laoghaire Mackenzie came whipping around the corner. A young, vibrant, beautiful girl who clearly fancied Jaime Fraser. When she saw me her pretty face fell off and she scowled. 

“Jaime, will ye be sittin at my table tonight?”

“No lass, I’ll be tendin to mistress Beauchamp tonight. Colum’s orders, sorry.”

I tried to smile at Lairghaire and calm her down whenever she was near me however that seemed to infuriate her even more. Half the time I expected her to drop to the floor and pitch a fit, and other times I felt she was capable of so much more to ease her annoyance. We picked up a bit of speed and my curiosity was not to be subdued.

“Jaime, are you promised to Laoghaire? She has an attachment to you, does she not.”

“Nah, I’ve known her since she was a wee’ an and she is marryin age now and sees a groom in me. The intention is not returned, however.”

The way he said that made me giggle and we walked into the hall and found our seats. Jaime brought me a glass of Colum’s rhenish which I found delicious, warming, and a little intoxicating. As we ate and talked at the long table, men from the clan would slap Jaime on the shoulder and utter strings of Gaelic that pulled laughter out of anyone in earshot. I felt the butt of their jokes but this was the norm of my existence at the castle. Jaime, always the gentleman would send a message with his masked face that would make the idiots move on. 

“Another rhenish perhaps?” I decided I wouldn’t mind feeling numb for one night and looked at Jaime imploringly. “Please?”

“Yes, mistress.” He smiled down at me before he left to fetch our drinks and my breath caught at the sight of him. Somehow Jaime could mask his face but show his emotion when he wanted to. It always stopped me in my tracks to see how handsome he really was. I wondered why he was so guarded until I heard a fight break out at a nearby table. Two clansmen, brothers they called themselves, suddenly decided to kill each other. The hall erupted in energy as a body flew by and crashed into a bench. The men were yelling and calling to their favorite, two other men joined the fight and it was on. 

I watched the chaos move steadily closer to me and started feeling panic at being in their path. I could not get up and move away without an escort and wondered if anyone would think to help me. The men were fighting so close to me I felt the spray of their sweat when they got hit. My panic was mounting and I looked around for Jaime who was thankfully running toward me. He held out his hand and pulled me from the bench walking quickly to a safer location. 

“Are ye hurt mistress?”

“No, thank you for getting me out of there.” I looked up at his face and gorged myself for a moment on his eyes. The color of the shallows on a sunny day now looked like the sea before a storm. He was standing very close to me holding my elbow and I was transfixed.

“Your rhenish mistress. I dropped it here so it wouldn’t be spilled in the fight.”

That snapped me out of my reverie and I smiled feeling my cheeks getting hot. I sat down and made short work of the rhenish. 

“Claire!”

Gellis was coming toward me waving and smiling. I smiled back although my mind was still staring at Jaime’s face. 

“Will ye accompany me tomorrow for a walk in the woods around the castle. I can show ye where I have found herbs growin and maybe we get lucky.” 

“I would love a walk like that but it’s up to Colum. The party will be going for another two days and I may be needed in the surgery.” 

“Tell Colum we’ll be back before these drunk bastards even think about waking up. I will come here to fetch ye.”

Before I could protest she spun in a whirl of skirts and walked away. I enjoyed Geillis’s company, even if she was a walking contradiction. Her happy attitude was contagious and laced with a mystery that she seemed to encourage. Both attributes were observed with suspicion because no one was happy and the mysterious part was ripe ground for rumors. Most folks whispered about her witchcraft and spells, and Geillis did nothing to assuage the suspicion. She didn’t have to. She was the wife of Cranesmuir’s Procurator Fiscal, Arthur Duncan. A man almost twice her age who was helplessly in love in the beautiful redhead. I looked up at Jaime’s scowl and sipped my rhenish. 

We listened to music after super and I was feeling warm and slightly intoxicated, enjoying the festive atmosphere and proximity of Jaime Fraser. I caught him looking at me several times and finally turned to him and gave him my best stern look. 

“What is it mister Fraser?”

He grabbed his elbow and made a painful face that was almost giggle-worthy. “I’ve had a bad pain in my elbow and was wantin ye to have a look at it.”

It was obvious he meant now as he was standing up to usher me out of the hall. I was a bit horrified to see the hallway leading to my surgery swaying from side to side. I blinked my eyes tightly several times but that was no help. I descended my stairs carefully and still managed a misstep that pitched me forward toward a damaging fall. I felt Jaime’s strong arms pull me into his chest and hold me there for the remainder of the steps. Once at the bottom I tapped my foot on the floor to verify we were on solid ground while I dissolved in giggles. 

“Well, mister Fraser, let’s have a look at that arm, sorry, elbow.” That was undoubtedly the funniest thing I had said since my arrival and it was not wasted on me as I struggled to control my laughing. I cleared my throat and squared my shoulders, then I looked up at Jaime’s face. 

It was like a jolt of electricity that I felt, deep and low in my stomach and it was spreading upwards making my heart race. He looked at me with an expression that spoke to some hidden part of me and I forced myself to look away and regain control. Colum’s renish was really something I decided. 

“Yer laughter sounds like music lass and I can see yer happiness sparkle in yer eyes and face. Right now I would trade a year of my life to know what that feels like.”

“What on earth are you talking about? Do you not laugh?”  
Jaime blushed and looked at the ground. “Nae mistress, I have no such memory.”

I was astonished and waited for a teasing comment to betray his ruse. It didn’t come and I regarded him as best I could in my drunken condition. 

“That’s not possible. There are funny things everywhere, every day, how could this be missed?” I took a step toward him and tripped over my own feet sending me careening into his chest. Suddenly his arms were completely around me and I felt that same jolt, like a surge that ripped through me. My cheeks were on fire and he set me right I turned my back to him with embarrassment. 

“I am so sorry mister Fraser. I fear I am incapacitated at the moment.” I could muster no more than a whisper and took deep breaths to steady my racing heart. “Let me have a look at your arm before I do anything else humiliating.” 

“Tis nothin mistress, I only said that to see ye safe back to yer surgery. Colum’s rhenish has laid waste to hardy men, twice yer size. So promise ye won’t be climbin those stairs tonight and I will leave ye be.” He turned to leave and I felt overwhelming sadness about that. 

“Wait! I had no opportunity to ask Colum about collecting herbs tomorrow. I have to go back.” 

I rushed for the stairs and felt steel bands wrap around my waist stopping my race to the stairs. 

“I will go ask Colum for ye if ye promise to stay away from the stairs.” 

That was hilarious to me and I waved him off while I collapsed on my stool laughing. When I looked up again Jaime was gone, hopefully, to gain permission for my walk tomorrow. The memory of his arms around me filled my head to the exclusion of all else. I closed my eyes and felt him touch me deciding it was the best feeling in the world. I wondered if I would feel such an embrace if I were married. I felt my smile spread across my face and my arms came around my stomach responding to the images in my head. 

Jaime had spoken to Colum and raced back to Claire fearing she would fall asleep before hearing permission had been granted. At the bottom of the stairs, he looked at Claire and stopped in his tracks. She sat on the stool, head back, eyes closed, swaying slightly. Her expression was stunning to him and he felt his stomach flip over and balls swell. He knew he was trespassing on her privacy, viewing her secret world, but he couldn’t look away. At that moment he wanted to possess her more than his next breath. His crush on the beautiful Sassenach had become a deep, painful need, so when he saw her rapture and he could not look away. 

“Sassenach,” he whispered.

I heard my name called from a far distance and forced my eyes open. I looked into the smoldering eyes of Jaime Fraser and was seized by panic. What was I doing? Acting like some common whore with a man in my surgery at night. I stood so quickly the room started to spin and the floor fell away before blackness took me.

“Claire! Jaime lunged toward her and caught her before she hit the ground. She was unconscious and would not respond to him. Jaime carried her into the back room where he found a bed and dresser. He laid Claire on the bed and covered her with quilts. Her face was angelic in sleep and he let his gaze linger on her mouth, nose, and eyes. Her skin looked like pearl and he wanted to touch it. Since the day she walked into the castle with Dougal a month ago, he lived in a constant state of missing her. In a bold move, he leaned down and kissed her forehead then left her to her dreams. 

Claire was in his mind now and he felt weak after watching her. He heard the bawdy shouts of his drunk clansmen from the hall and was suddenly fearful for Claire’s safety. If she was raped in her bed the fault would be hers and she would be forced to marry her attacker if he wanted her. If he didn’t she would be lower than the castle hounds. Jaime knew Colum’s motivation for housing Claire was purely self-serving and he felt no bond of blood or clan. He would do little to protect her from the attentions of his men, forced or otherwise. She was defenseless. Before he could be seen he slipped back down her stairs and laid down against the bottom step, dirk drawn. 

The cold floor made it hard for Jaime to sleep but he slipped into his dreams deep in the night. He saw Claire sitting with her head back, smiling, swaying slightly. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes closed. Her gown was pulled down by her position on the stool and he could see part of her tender nipples. He wanted to taste them. Standing over her he felt like he might burst into flames if he did not touch her. He lifted her to him and crushed her mouth rousing her from repose. She fought against him at first and he held her against him with ease while he gorged himself on her neck, shoulders and mouth. 

“Fight me if ye want lass, it makes no difference to me.” He seized her mouth and bit down on her lower lip pulling a moan from her. He felt her press her mouth against his and her arms wrap around his waist. He felt hot lightening shoot into his groin and it shook him to the core. He couldn’t stop, it was too late, one taste of her and his self-control evaporated, replaced by a hunger the likes of which he had never felt. He devoured her and she clutched at him with her own apparent need. He would pay the consequence of his lust because he could not stop until someone kicked him hard in the back sending pain deep into his kidneys. 

Jaime grunted and sat up with dirk in hand looking for the assailant. Grabbing the intruder’s shirt he pushed him back to the stairs and assisted with his ascent making promises to painfully end his miserable life if he dared to come back. He laid down against the stair again but sleep would not come. In a castle full of men and no protection it was just a matter of time. Equally terrifying was Colum could marry her off at any time, taking her out of Jaime’s life forever. He gave up trying to sleep. If he had not stayed the night it, her life and options would be over and she would be lost to him. Facing these truths about his feelings for Claire brought focus to his priority. He had to get Claire out of the castle with no one seeing. Every clansman in one hundred miles was in the castle or the grounds. This will take a miracle.

When the rays of dawn stretched across the rolling hills of the highlands Jaime’s plan was complete and it would be a catalyst to forever change his life. For better or worse, he would never be the man that knocked on Claire’s door last night.

He would offer Claire the safety of his clan and family, rescue her from the castle and Colum’s control, and work tirelessly to make her happy if she agreed to wed him. She was going to make him the luckiest man in Scotland or crush his heart. An hour more of pacing out his plan and he gently woke her. 

“Sassenach, please wake, we must talk.” 

I felt a large warm hand rub my arm and back and it was so nice to be …“Jesus Christ Jaime, what are you doing in my room?”

“Sh, please Sassenach, if we’re caught, we will pay dearly. Please be quiet as ye can and listen with all yer heart.”

I felt my panic growing as Jaime described the man in my rooms and what my future looked like if I stayed at castle Leoch. I could not fault his logic but I had nowhere to go but here. I looked at him feeling the tears come, feeling trapped like my life was over.

“Jaime?” It was a desperate whisper. I felt him touch my cheek. It was still dark in my room but I could hear the truth in his voice. 

“I can get ye away from here Claire, today, right now. I will grab my Godfather and we will be far from this place by the time anyone knows we are gone. I have land and a home for you to live in. You will no be a slave to Colum anymore. I care for ye deeply Claire and I want to make ye my wife as soon as possible.”

Did he say wife, I wondered. That was preposterous, I was not ready to get married and I hardly knew Jaime. Fortunately, the emerging light brought Jaime’s hopeful face into focus. I almost cried at the look in his eyes. So hopeful and full of love. I said nothing and pushed my mind to work as fast as possible. I looked around my living quarters and felt bone-deep hatred for this cold dark space. 

“I’m ready Jaime, when do we leave?” I saw his face light up and he pulled me into his embrace. I will gamble on these strong arms, huge heart, and sharp mind any day. I made my choice, now it was time to go.

Jaime left to get his Godfather and I packed up my medicines and what clothing I had. My things were set by the door waiting for the men and I paced and prayed. I heard my door creak open and spun toward Jaime. He was dressed in heavier clothes. He put his finger to his lips and held a hand to me. He guided me through a maze of hallways that went on and on. He stopped and turned to me pulling me to him. 

“Kiss me Sassenach and I will have the strength of an army.” 

He sealed his lips over mine and my heart rammed in my chest making me breathless. For a brief moment, he pressed his forehead to mine and the intimacy almost choked me. Then we were running toward an opening and I could see horses on the other side. I ducked into the morning light as Jaime pulled me toward his horse Donus. He swung up behind me and when I looked around I saw men, lots of men, who were silent and watching. I recognized the men Rupert and Angus, who nodded to Jaime and slapped the horses. Jaime’s arm tightened around my waist and he pulled my back to his chest. 

“That was the hardest part mo gradhag. Put yer faith in me and I will see ye safe.” 

I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and realized they were just poison residue from my time at the castle. I let them flow and felt better for it. Murtagh and Jaime said not a word to each other, both seemed to know the plan and where we were going. I had never ridden so hard in my life and my legs were shaking from exhaustion. We stopped in the tall trees and let the horses graze and drink. After a short rest, Murtagh rode ahead and I was alone with Jaime. 

I was starting to feel shy and scared of being alone with him. He wrapped his arms around me and spoke quietly, his beautiful smile never left his face. 

“I will wed ye tonight lass so no other man can have ye. Please tell me this is yer wish too and no regrets.” he touched my face and looked into my eyes and I knew I was under his spell. 

“Where you go I will follow, for the rest of my days.”  
Jaime pulled me by the hand to the stream saying he was hungry. I saw no equipment for catching fish and sat down in the tall grass to watch him. Right before my eyes, he lost years of age and stress and his exuberance was something I found magical. He laid his arm in the water and waited, occasionally trying to wink at me and failing something awful. His body jerked and water splashed onto the rock he laid across and the fish was brutally slapped and died on impact. I smiled hugely at the prize and continued watching until there were four fish for our midday meal. 

The day was warm and the sun filtered through the leaves above us making me sleepy. I laid on my back and listened to Jaime’s stories feeling the thrill of his adventures. I must have dozed off until I felt Jaime’s lips on mine bringing me back. The fish were already cooking and Jaime was searching my eyes. 

“May I kiss ye Sassenach?”

I nodded and he brought his warm, sweet mouth down on mine making me breathe deep suddenly. I felt my arms go around him as I tried to mimic his movements with my mouth. I felt his tongue come into my mouth and my body tingled right down to my toes. He touched me places that had never been touched. Always watching me and moving slowly. I wanted more of this and I could not wait. I held him tightly and asked for more kisses. He smiled down at me and obliged until I was panting like I had run a race. It was startling to me how my body felt. It wanted more of Jaime. 

When we pulled apart Jaime whispered that Murtagh was back. Several minutes later I heard his horse approach. How could Jaime have heard them I wondered? Murtagh informed Jaime of a kirk about five miles ahead and the pastor was waiting. 

“Are ye ready to pledge yerself to me for eternity Sassenach?” 

My smile was hard to contain. “I’m ready.”


End file.
